I Suffer More Than Anyone Has Ever Suffered

If you have never been shot, I don’t recommend it.  First of all, it really hurts a lot.  Also, the police seem uninterested in talking to me about who I think they need to be questioning, and  very interested in bothering my friends.  Poor Ty has apparently had to speak to them several times.  He does not deserve to be harrassed in this manner!  Today Detective Wallace was actually quite dismissive when I called with a lead about ISIS targeting attractive American women with prominent blogs.

The worst thing is that I am supposed to do almost nothing all day long.  No computers, no tv, no exercise, no fun.  The kids went back to school today and I was instructed to stay home and “relax”.  Lah Lee is not a relaxer.  I tried to get up to do a lil’ light yoga on the sly but I was dizzy and could barely do a single pose without experiencing a great stabbing pain.  Then I tried to spend a tiny bit of time on Twitter, Pinterest and Facebook and I watched a few episodes of Live From Lincoln Center while I read spoilers about the new season of The Bachelor on my eyepad, but I ended up with a tremendous my grain.  I don’t know what I ever did to deserve to be in such a horrible situation.

Krystyn called with some delicious gossip, though.  Apparently Cari’s latest guy dumped her the day after Christmas, calling her pushy and controlling.  For some reason this news delights me!

That’s just me, Lah Lee, always smilin’ through the tears.

Even the pain pills the doctors gave me aren’t working well, but I just keep on doing my best to bring joy to everyone around me.

Yoga in the Park

There is a new yoga studio in town where all of the ladies who can’t keep up with those of us who really know yoga have been going.  We all call it it “Stretches for Betches”.  I guess they are having a hard time attracting members (LOL) so they sponsored a free yoga in the park session yesterday afternoon.  It was right next to the cute little cafe that my posse likes to frequent, and it just so happens that we were all there having a lil’ espresso when the session began.

There were some real try-hards who showed up and a bunch of older women who looked like they got lost on the way to their water aerobics meeting.

Guess who was leading the class?

No wonder she can’t keep a boyfriend, she looks like she is carrying a little extra junk in her trunk.

For an expert yogi she sure teaches an easy peasy beginners class.  I would never want to learn from someone who didn’t at least try to challenge me.

Of course some people aren’t so discerning.

Haha, that is more than a little junk in her trunk! She might be carrying the contents of an entire yard sale in those stretch pants.

Well, good for them for trying.  And good for them for giving my friends and I some well deserved lulz.

 

Crazy Photo Mixup

My yoga instructor tells me that I have the best form he has ever seen.  He often asks me to demonstrate for the group, and sometimes, when I get frustrated with other people in the class, I will just volunteer to stand in the front of the studio so everyone can see how it is supposed to be done.  I am not trying to brag, just describing how it is.

A couple of weeks ago I took a nice photo of myself doing yoga poses at home.

Namaste

I am telling you all about this because of a silly mix up that happened yesterday.  I was at the gym and Krystyn, Cari and I were walking past the room where they do the “Beginners Speed Weight Loss” and who should I see?  Karen!

Yikes! Good for her. I applaud her trying to turn it around.

We barely laughed, because we are nice people and try to rise above the pettiness we see around us, even when we see karma working against someone who tried to break up a happy marriage.  I was holding my phone and I noticed later that I had taken a photo without meaning to.  Oops!

So when I got home I printed out both photos to put away for future scrapbooking, and then I totally lost track of where I left them.

I went to file one of Hummus’s coloring pages in the portfolio I keep in Röbert’s office tonight and I realized that I had left both pictures on his desk.  LOL!  Poor Röbert.  He is such a great husband. He doesn’t need to see Karen’s current state of disrepair.

Yoga Time

So today was the day I was scheduled to demonstrate yoga for Merlin’s genius class.  I went in a lil’ bit early and got all set up in the classroom.  I was surprisingly nervous.

The children were still at lunch when I got there.

Unfortunately I got a my grain and had to leave suddenly.  I hope Ty wasn’t too upset to find me gone.

When I got home Hummus had another tumble.  Maybe I should stop putting him up on high surfaces to photograph him.  What do you think?

Two seconds later he was on the floor crying with blood everywhere. Oh well.

I think I earned an extra glass (or three) of vino tonight.

Weekend Magic

It was so nice to have Röbert home for the weekend.  Yesterday he did some chores around the house while I had lunch with my friends and went to the gym for pilates, spin and some time chatting with this hilarious new gal in my morning stretch class in the steam room.  Then I came home and watched this a very heartwarming Lifetime movie while Röbert took Starling to her soccer tournament and then dropped Merlin at the twins’ house for a playdate and picked up the dry cleaning and did a lil’ grocery shopping.  This morning I was able to indulge in a lil’ late wake up and when I came down Röbert and Merlin were making a big brunch for everyone.  Family weekends are the best!

You can’t even believe the mess they made but I made sure they cleaned up too!

The Gifted Class has asked all of the parents to come in and share their talents.  I told Mr. Williams (Ty to me!) that he should ask Röbert to come in because I am sure he has many talents to show off, mountain hiking or some such.  Apparently Röbert has already been in and played the drums.  I forgot he could do that.  Now it is my turn.  I am not sure which talent I should share.  It is hard to show dog saving in an elementary school classroom without endangering the children.  Likewise ordering off the menu at a cafe is not particularly interesting to young children.  Maybe I could do yoga?

Although I only started last week I have already taken 17 classes so I am quite experienced. Turn up the furnace Principal Hannigan, the queen of Bikram is coming!

Namaste

I have always known that if I tried yoga I would be marvelous at it because I am very spiritual and all.  I just have not had the time.  Last week Mr. Williams said he did it so of course I told him how much I also enjoy yoga.  He asked me where I go and luckily I remembered where my friend Aileen goes (because she never shuts up about it) and told him I go to her studio.  Well, how funny, it is his studio too.  So of course since I have been meaning to get started I have taken a bunch of classes this week.  I haven’t seen Mr. Williams, I mean Ty, (since we are more like friends now he asked me to call him by his first name) there yet, but I am not sure which classes he takes.  Maybe hot yoga?

After school today I put a movie on for the kids (Frozen…they are so hypnotized by it they never know whether I am here or on the moon) and ran over to a park on the other side of town to practice yoga.  You won’t even believe it, it is right next to Mr. William’s home!  What a coincidence.  I saw him as he got home and of course he admired my form and we chatted for a few minutes.  I am still not sure about the girlfriend.  It would be so, so nice for him if he had a nice girlfriend.

I am very zen.

When I got home Merlin and Starling were pretty wound up about the movie and followed me around the house singing.  It gave me a my grain so I put a lil’ Benadryl in their apple juice and poured myself a glass of wine.  No sense being annoyed after a wonderful healing activity.

Please, let it go…away.