For Crying Out Loud

Merlin!

It wasn’t funny last year and it is even less funny this year! He says he didn’t do it, but I saw him drop the egg in the dye.

What is it with little boys and poop?

Hoppy Easter

 

Since Merlin is being grounded for creating a very rude egg this year, I have to stay home from church so he is not alone in the house.  He claims that Starling had them both write something in white crayon on their eggs and then trade them to see the secret message, but I think we all know who would use that kind of vulgar language in our house, and it is not my lil’ girl.  Starling’s egg said, “I love Mommy”.  What a sweet thing she is!

Speechless.

I will also be missing the fun of watching all of the overtired lil’ children having their egg hunt on the lawn behind the church, but I had Röbert take Starling and Hummus.  He has been in an awful mood all weekend, so I am sure the time in church will do him good.

Merlin is all dressed up and cleaning his bedroom.  My parents are coming over later for my home-cooked Easter Dinner.  I have a Honey Baked Ham and a couple of rotisserie chickens along with some mac and cheese and mashed potatoes and roasted veggies from the prepared food section at our gourmet shop.  I swear, getting ready for these big meals is exhausting.  Next year we will just hire a caterer.

After he cleans his bedroom he will be setting the table for me. I hope he remembered to polish the silver and iron the linens.

So to all of my sweat friends, Happy Easter, whether you be Christian, Jewish or Muslim.  Happy Easter even if you are a Scientologist or Catholic.

Is it pinot-o-clock yet?

 

My Mountain Man

I think that everyone knows how much my handsome hubby loves the mountains!  He would spend every weekend there if he could.

He loves all mountain activities!

But I also have another lil’ mountain man in my household.  Ever since he learned how to walk Hummus has been a climber.  He climbs out of his crib. even with the restraints, nets  and covers I have employed, and then he climbs all over the place in our house and wherever we go.  I honestly don’t know what I am going to do with that rascal!

This morning I was chatting with Karen on the phone and I heard some noises in our foyer.  I ran in, and who did I find standing on my settee?  Hummus, who I thought was still in his crib, quietly entertaining himself.

He is also kind of clumsy so of course I was scared he would fall and get blood all over my new rug.

I ran upstairs to see how he had gotten out of his crib (he is apparently a whiz with knots) and when I got downstairs he was on the kitchen table, which is quite high!

He stepped on my melon!

We went to the gym without incident, but left a little early today to go to a sample sale.  Krystyn and I were madly gathering up fantastic designer bargains to try on when this very officious man tapped my shoulder, said, “Madam.” and pointed up.  Balancing there, far above our heads, on what appeared to be a wire, was Hummus.  When I had checked on him only a few minutes before (ok, it may have been a lil’ over an hour, but we were at a SAMPLE SALE, hello?) he was sleeping quietly in his stroller with bungy cords strapped all over him to keep him in place ( the cords were hidden under a blanket because people can be so judgy). I let that man know that I thought his sample sale was very dangerous for small children and he should be more cautious, but he escorted me out!  Outrageous!

This really was incredibly high. I think the people who own this loft need to be more careful and keep an eye on any children in there if they don’t want to be sued.

I didn’t get any cute clothes because they wouldn’t even let me try one single thing on or purchase anything on my way out.

I got home, put Hummus down for his nap and started to cry about the green silk pants I had been holding at the sample sale and when I looked up there was Hummus again.  This time he was balancing on a pile of books on the coffee table.

At this point I was kind of hoping he would fall and learn his lesson.

I gave up and gave him some of Merlin’s toys to play with since he breaks all of his own, while I caught up on some PBS and supervised the housekeeper.

I had my book group over for dinner tonight so I had sent the children up to bed early (dressed for the morning since Röbert will not be around to supervise them) and when I came out of the kitchen, what lil’ scamp do you think I found on the dining room table?  You guessed it.

I love these carafs I just got. It makes it super easy to see how much wine everyone is drinking so we can talk about it later.

Finally, I was trying to enjoy myself at the end of the evening with a Lifetime Movie (Wuthering High, so emotionally compelling) when I saw my lil’ sherpa on the mantle.  What can I do?

Does anyone know any really good knots?

Do they make straightjackets in baby sizes?  Just kidding.  But I wonder if they do.  Now I am curious and might have to google it.  Does anyone know?

Merlin is Rebellious

I was so angry with Merlin this morning. I always put out his clothes on his bureau the night before, so he will dress nicely for school.  This morning he came down  in a really ugly sweatshirt.  I had no idea where it came from.  He told me that one of the Harris twins had let him borrow it.  I told him to take it RIGHT off, but he said that it was “cool”.  He had the nerve to say that the outfit I had chosen for him was babyish and he refused to put it on.  I pointed out to him that it had a bulldozer on the front and babies do NOT drive bulldozers.  Wow!  I am not happy with this new streak of independence.  I made him change and put him on the school bus crying.  I told him that acting like a crybaby is babyish, not wearing a nice and very expensive shirt with a truck theme.

Wow! Ugly!

Meanwhile Starling looked beautiful, dressed like an angel like always.

She just makes other children look like trolls. What a beauty!

The school has been calling all morning.  Like I said, I never take those calls, but maybe I should?  I don’t know.  Maybe Mr. Williams needs to talk to me about Merlin’s naughty streak.

I think I have a my grain again.

Settling in

Once again I was VERY tired this morning and was planning to sleep in but Röbert woke me up to “talk”.  I couldn’t even hear what he was saying because I was crying so hard.  I am pretty sure we decided to put the conference behind us and I promised never to leave like that again.  Phew!

I fell back to sleep and was awoken by the most awful noise from the kitchen.  Apparently my horrible neighbor, Nancy had given Merlin a drum set while I was away.  What was she thinking? The last thing he needs is a drum set!  I took it away and will sell it on ebay later.

I hadn’t had much time to shop while I was away, and boys don’t really care about gifts, but I did manage to find the most adorable doll and suite of doll furniture for Starling.  She just couldn’t wipe the grin off her face as she played with it this morning!

While she was playing I decided to go online and check out some photos from the conference and try to piece together some of the parts which remain a little fuzzy to me still and OMG!  My worst nightmare!  There was a picture of me with my missing bra and…I just can’t speak!  It is worse than I thought.  Who took the picture?  OMG!  If Röbert ever sees this I don’t know what he will say!

Can you tell that is me?  OMG! OMG!  I think you can!

My Crazy Life

This morning I was determined to go over to the Sullivans to talk to Karen about what is going on.  I saw that her car was in the driveway so I marched right over to let her know how hurt I was by her recent coldness towards me and she didn’t answer the door.  So odd.  I thought I could hear the television playing and someone moving around inside.  Now I am really worried.  Maybe on top of her forgetfulness she is also losing her hearing.  Aging must be terrible!

When I got home I heard noise in Merlin’s room and guess what I found?  Birdy was all alone in his bedroom.  I was furious!  Merlin claims he has no idea how he got there, but I have a pretty good idea and the culprit had to catch the bird and then spend the morning cleaning out my car.

After lunch I put all three children down for a nap because I needed a nap!  I had just fallen asleep when I heard shouting from down the hall.  I thought someone was hurt so I ran and apparently Merlin had somehow convinced Starling that jumping on her bed is a good idea. Oh my word!  I sent him back to his room and brought her downstairs to watch a movie.  He had gotten her way too wound up to sleep!  So it was Frozen and cookies for her while I cat napped on the sofa!

I was able to drop the children with the family down the street who don’t speak much English (and don’t own any chickens LOL!) while I went shopping for dinner stuff.  I also stopped by the coffee shop for a few minutes!  Shhhh!

I came home nice and relaxed only to find that the non-English speaking family had completely misunderstood EVERYTHING I told them and Hummus and Starling were inside eating sugary snacks and watching television while Merlin was outside playing in the dirt.  He could have been run over by the backhoe someone was using back there!  I will have to think carefully before I allow THAT family (the Chens?  the Changs?  Who knows?) to watch my children for me again!

What could i do?  I brought the children home and put them to bed!  Then it was Calgon time for me . (Only, not Calgon but this delicious Jo Malone bath oil I bought for myself.)  Take me away indeed!

Life’s a Beach!

The children and I had been planning a trip to the beach for today and we were so excited!  I was upstairs getting dressed and I heard Starling shouting outside.  I ran out to find her covered in mud!  Ugh!  I started to get mad at her but then she told me that Merlin had shoved her into the mud!  That boy!

I found Merlin in his room playing with his dinosaurs and he pretended he didn’t know what I was talking about.  He is so sneaky!  I don’t know how he even got inside and cleaned up that fast.

We decided that we couldn’t very well leave him at home so he came to the beach with us but waited in the car with his summer reading books.  The windows were all down but some people just overreact.  I was scolded by several people when it was time to leave.  Oh well, they need to mind their own business!

In all the hullaballoo I managed to leave Hummus at home strapped in his carseat!  Ugh.  He was fine when we ran back to pick him up!

I had a nice man take my picture in my new dress!

Hummus and Starling and I finally made it to the beach.  I was exhausted!  Starling had a wonderful time!  She always looks so joyful on the beach!

Hummus had a good time deconstructing the sand castle that the children near us had spent the morning making.  Their Mom needed to mind her own business as well!

Guess what?  When we got back to the car Merlin was just fine, thank you, and he had finished his first book!