10 Things to Know About Approaching a Famous Blogger

I have a very busy week ahead, getting ready for our big gala on Friday night, and  a special photo shoot for a special day mid-week (shhhhh, more about that later).

Now that my blog is becoming supper-popular, I find that I am getting approached by more people on the street who just want to let me know how much they adore me.  While I appreciate it, I want to give a few tips about how to approach a famous blogger so you don’t offend their sensibilities, since we bloggers tend to feel things just a little bit more than your average Joe.

1. If I am doing something important, like barre, do not bother me.  I am busy and deserve my me-time, probably more than everyone else.  If I am just dealing with the kids, fine, hop on over and tell me what you find most inspiring about me and my life.

I am busy here and should not be disturbed!

2. If you don’t have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself.  Bloggers have feelings too and we shouldn’t be criticized just because we have decided to post every single breath we take online.  You don’t actually know us.  That goes double for those meanies on “that” hate site.  You know who you are.

I am a living, breathing human being with feelings y’all!

3. Just because I don’t look like my photos online doesn’t mean I photoshop them.  I don’t even own photoshop.

I am naturally photogenic.

4.  My kids are out of bounds.  Period.  Just because I occasionally might post a photo of one of them to boost page views does not mean you can criticize them.

My angles deserve total privacy except when I as a parent, choose to expose them.

5. I will be happy to answer most questions, but do not try to make yourself feel bigger by inferring things you know nothing about.  Röbert and I are extremely happily married and have never had any trouble in our marriage.

You can feel the chemistry here, right?

7. Hummus is absolutely fine and does not have a single delay.  Unless you are a doctor I have employed for that purpose, I have no interest in your amateur diagnosis.

Delayed? He is a tennis prodigy! How is your 22 month old doing in USTA?

8. If you want to tell me something sad or humiliating you have heard about Karen, I am all ears, but I do not want to hear about how you feel bad for her.

Double points if you manage to mention how dull Renata seems too.

9. Hands off!  Do not touch me or my children.  And especially leave the dog alone.  I have him trained of course, but he has a history of viciousness.

He still has an evil glint in his eye sometimes.

10. Please do tell me how pretty I am, how well behaved Starling is, how enviable my lifestyle is.   When in doubt, or when nervous to be meeting someone famous like me, those are great conversation starters.

You can even tell me how adorable we look together!

I think that covers it for now. I look forward to meeting all of you!

 

Committee Meeting

Cari and I were up late last night, ironing out the essentials of our End of Year Party.  I can’t even believe what a mess the committee members have made of what would have been an easy task if they had simply followed our directions.

The party is in less than two weeks and this is what they have arranged so far.  For dinner: pizza and two liter bottles of soda.  For entertainment: the Man Space Band, which is a bunch of overweight dads who play in their spare time and are awful!  For children’s activities: a couple of party games and a craft made out of popsicle sticks and glue.

Does this sound like a party to ANYONE? 

No one even called Drake to see if he is available.  I am sure he isn’t now, but he might have been when I told Marsha to contact his people.  You never know.

So Cari and I drafted a twelve page manifesto and went out for a mimosa or two before our committee meeting.

Page eight. We have a lot of great ideas, but it is going to mean work!

The meeting lasted six hours and was very lively.  Some of the committee members quit because they think our ideas are “too hard”.  Fine.  They can go to a crummy party with pizza and soda instead of the spectacular gala we will be having.

It was dark out by the time we left the meeting. Phew! I need a lil’ vino.

I am letting Röbert have the fun of bathing the kiddos and putting them to bed while I rest on my laurels and my 450 count Egyptian cotton sheets.  It is hard making people do what they should do.

 

He Takes After Me

In Merlin’s genius class they have been doing debating.  It sounds basically like arguing except that you can’t choose which side you argue about.  I argue a lot so I just know he takes after me. I tried to show him how to cry and flounce out of the room during an argument but he said you can’t do that when you are trying a debate.  Anywhoo, he and his teacher (my close, close friend Ty) were going to some state debating contest today.  I had no idea that this was a big deal.  i guess he has been doing a lot of debating and I just haven’t been able to make it to a single one because of my busy, busy schedule, but this one is very important.  I had to drop him at school early this morning and there were people from the newspaper there to take his picture.  i guess he is the youngest person who debates or something.

So proud!

If I had known this was such big deal I probably would have gotten him a blazer to wear like he has been asking me.

Weekend Magic

It was so nice to have Röbert home for the weekend.  Yesterday he did some chores around the house while I had lunch with my friends and went to the gym for pilates, spin and some time chatting with this hilarious new gal in my morning stretch class in the steam room.  Then I came home and watched this a very heartwarming Lifetime movie while Röbert took Starling to her soccer tournament and then dropped Merlin at the twins’ house for a playdate and picked up the dry cleaning and did a lil’ grocery shopping.  This morning I was able to indulge in a lil’ late wake up and when I came down Röbert and Merlin were making a big brunch for everyone.  Family weekends are the best!

You can’t even believe the mess they made but I made sure they cleaned up too!

The Gifted Class has asked all of the parents to come in and share their talents.  I told Mr. Williams (Ty to me!) that he should ask Röbert to come in because I am sure he has many talents to show off, mountain hiking or some such.  Apparently Röbert has already been in and played the drums.  I forgot he could do that.  Now it is my turn.  I am not sure which talent I should share.  It is hard to show dog saving in an elementary school classroom without endangering the children.  Likewise ordering off the menu at a cafe is not particularly interesting to young children.  Maybe I could do yoga?

Although I only started last week I have already taken 17 classes so I am quite experienced. Turn up the furnace Principal Hannigan, the queen of Bikram is coming!

A Lil’ Fall Trip

We had such a crazy start to our week, what with the genius class problems and dog attacks and so forth that I decided yesterday to get away to the beach for a few days.  Starling and I drove over this morning and the boys will follow tomorrow.  We did a lil’ shopping and got our nails done.  Then Starling ran into some friends on the beach and played tug of war with them.  Her team won (of course).

She loves a little healthy competition.

I took her to our favorite restaurant which is right on the wharf.  She had the lil’ skipper’s special  (fried clam strips and french fries) and I had wine, lol!

Three sheets to the wind matey!

We went back to the condo we rented and I put her to bed early so could catch up with my Facebook and have a lil’ merlot, which is so much more sophisticated than other red wine. I put on my cozy new pajamas and just laughed at how absent minded Röbert is!  Honestly, men, right?

 

Ugh! Gifted Class!

This morning I called the school, as per usual, about the gifted class and Starling.  Well, you won’t even believe what they said!  The secretary lady (I don’t know her name, why would I?) said, “If I put her in the God damned class will you stop calling me?”  Of course I said yes!  I was so thrilled that they had finally recognized which one of my lil’ angles belongs in that class.  I was walking on a cloud all day.  That would show those other moms.

Then Starling got home and told me that they had pulled her from her homeroom to go to the “nerd cave” with Merlin and all of his weird friends.  She was very upset.  I told her that I would call the school and ask to have Merlin removed from the class since he really doesn’t need it anyway.  But she was adamant that Merlin wasn’t even close to the worst of them.  That surprised me!

She finally stopped crying when I gave her a $20 bill.

I don’t want my baby girl unhappy, so I called the school right back and told them that Starling does not want to be in the gifted class with the nerds.  The secretary lady put me on hold and I swear I could hear her laughing in the background for about ten minutes while I just waited.  I gave her a piece of my mind when she picked the phone back up, but she put the phone back down and started laughing again.  So rude!  I finally hung up on her.  That will show her.

I ended up putting the big kids to bed a little bit early because I was so exhausted but I let Hummus play in the bathtub for a couple of hours while I had my book group (or should I say wine group, lol) over.  I had actually forgotten he was there and Mariel was very surprised when she heard splashing from behind the shower curtain, lol.

Such a good baby.

Catching Up with the Kiddos

For some reason Merlin’s genius class spends a lot of time outside.  I have asked Mr. Williams about it and he actually had an answer about why they did it but I really didn’t understand what he was talking about.  If they’re so smart shouldn’t they be in a laboratory or something?  Whatever.  Anyway, Merlin is always carrying sticks around and playing with them.  Is that what a genius does?  Who knows?

Five minutes later he was tying them together to make a kung fu weapon so of course I took them away!

Meanwhile Starling, who really is very smart, was inside reading.  Ugh, I find the whole situation so frustrating. I probably haven’t mentioned it but she got a B in math last year which is very high for a girl!

We do have a tv but never watch it. Starling would far rather read!

Hummus still won’t stand up.  Is this normal, I wonder?

The little rat knows I want him to stand up so he is refusing on purpose!

Cover Boy

Yesterday morning Margie Harris called and mentioned that Merlin was on the cover of the new brochure about the gifted program at the children’s school.  I was surprised, and wondered out loud if that was okay to use his photo without my permission, but apparently one of those eight million papers I signed the first week of school IS my permission.  Who knew?  I never read those things.

The cover model! I think he looks a lot like me here.

Anyway, Margie wanted to know if Merlin wanted to come over after school today to play with her twin boys who are also in the gifted class.  I think the twins are kind of weird, but Merlin was really excited to go over there, so I am breaking my “no playdates for Merlin” rule, and allowing it.  I hope he doesn’t come home wild!

I left Hummus at his playgroup until 6 (actually 6:15…oops, we were late!) and picked Starling up early to take her out to the zoo and for ice cream sundaes.  It is always a special time with my lil’ princess.

Mommy and her best friend!

Poor Starling must have been tired though, because she kept complaining, even when I bought her new toys.  “I feel funny.”  “Can you scratch my head for me?” All afternoon long.  I love the kid, but it did wear on me.

 

Genius? I’ll Give you a Genius!

Composing a symphony already!

Case closed!