Regrets, I Have a Few

While I was away, living it up at my beautiful and relaxing ashram, life went on at home. Unfortunately, there were events that I missed.

Last year I planned a wonderful fundraiser for the children’s school.  This year, because I was involved in an unfortunate shooting incident, Margie was put in charge of the Spring Fling.

You probably remember that at my event, there was a lovely barn for a catered dinner/dance, a petting zoo and horse back riding for the children, and champagne everywhere.

Absolutely gorgeous!

This year, instead of trying to make it even better, Margie held it in the school.  According to Krystyn, the children’s games were in the cafeteria and there was no band or pretty twinkle lights.  I guess it is okay to have no ambition.

How festive for the children, celebrating in their classroom!

Merlin looked darling, but it sounds like the whole evening was a downer.  Maybe next year they can find a volunteer with a vision once again.

 

Resigning

This morning I decided to run by the gym so everyone could see that I am now in a wheelchair.  That’s right, after I asked the doctor several times she wrote a prescription for a wheelchair, because I believe she is very, very, very concerned that I might tragically reopen my wound and need further plastic surgery to repair it.  Anywho, all the ladies felt so, so bad for me , but Janyce mentioned that they have a wheelchair basketball league at the Valley Rec Center, so I am going to look into that.  Fun!

The wear and tear I will save on my shoes is just incredible!

The wheelchair is absolutely great; so zippy and people are falling over themselves to open doors for me and help me with carrying things etc.  I can’t wait to get my handicapped parking hanger for my car!

Since I am so badly injured, I will no longer be able to fulfill my duties to the PTO.  I stopped by the school to let them know of my decision.  I think the office ladies were very upset.  No one actually cried, but I could see their lips quivering.  They had the cutest lil’ picture of Cari and I for the yearbook so I let them know that Cari had sent in one of just her to replace it.  Lyssa, the one with the weird voice, was busy so she let me enter it into the database for her.

She really deserves to have all of the glory for her hard work.

Special Fun for the Little Ones

At All Praise Our Blessed Little Lambs Preschool they take their Christmas stuff very seriously.  They don’t do any of the fun stuff we do at home, with the trees and Santa and presents.  It is mostly long church services.  Today they told me that Hummus would be doing a reading and I should really come to watch him.  It is hard to believe since Hummus doesn’t speak and he certainly doesn’t read.  Also, the service was scheduled to last eight hours, and there is no way I have time for that nonsense.

He looked so cute in his lil’ tie.

Miss Sherrilyn said he needed to be dressed plain, whatever that means, and she put him in some kind of white robe when he got there.  Whatever.  The other children were dressed similarly, and a couple of the moms were staying so I guess I can ask them at drop-off tomorrow what it was all about.

For Crying Out Loud

I don’t know what is going on with schools nowadays.  All of a sudden they are so sensitive and picky about what the kids are wearing.  Starling’s outfit is too skimpy, Merlin can’t wear a swing top and today I got called in to Hummus’s sweet lil’ nursery school because his outfit was deemed inappropriate.

One of the reasons I send him to a wholesome Christian preschool is so he can celebrate Christian holidays at school. I see nothing wrong with this outfit.

Miss Sherrilyn said that they don’t celebrate the secular Christmas traditions and for some reason Santa is too “worldly” for their school.  She reminded me that Christmas is a Christian holiday, did I know that?  Of course I know that!  I get my children all spruced up and drag them to church every single Christmas and Easter, although I may just go on Christmas Eve this year so we can skip dinner with Röbert’s mother.  Anywho, I had grabbed some clothes from the lost and found at the gym so I could change him quickly and get back in time for Aerobic Boxing, I really didn’t have time to stick around for a lecture TYVM.

Speaking of Christmas, I can’t wait to see what Röbert has bought for me this year.  With Cari’s help I am sure it is something amazing!

I finally asked the ladies in the office at Starling’s school where Ty has been.  It seems that he is the teacher who is taking a leave of absence!  I wonder what is wrong.  I drove by his little house a few times and it looks like he hasn’t even been staying there.  Poor Ty.  Maybe I should stop by his parent’s home tomorrow and drop off some cookies or something so I can ask him a few questions.

Helping Others

Margie and Fat Alice’s mom were supposed to be in charge of decorating the atrium at school for December, but of course Margie’s mother had some attention seeking heart surgery over the weekend and Margie couldn’t spare a single second from her bedside.  Once again, it was Lah Lee to the rescue with a cute lil’ “Let’s Keep Christ in Christmas” manger type display for the school.  I skipped Stretch ‘n Lift  to pick up a cute light up baby Jesus I found on the Craig’s List and headed over to school to set up.

I had only hung up the sign when there was a big kerfuffle with the vice principal (the one who wears all the ugly neck scarves) about not having Christmas displays in public schools.  Thanks a lot, Obama.  Everyone celebrates Christmas nowadays, even that weird foreign family.  It is pretty much an All-American holiday at this point.

Anywho, I told her that I would speak to Margie about the display she had asked me to set up for her and left, but not before I overheard a couple of the office ladies talking.  Apparently one of the teachers was in the principal’s office crying and asking for a leave of absence for “personal reasons”.  I’ll bet it was Mrs. Giordano with the all of the facial moles who teaches second grade.  She looks like she might have some personal stuff going on.  I tried to peek in a window to see who it was, but it was too high and there was no tree to climb.  I guess I will know soon enough.

Big Meeting

Apparently someone at school (Margie) has been complaining that I am delegating all of my PTO work.  Of course I am.  That stuff is boring.  I was called by the school secretary yesterday and told to come to a meeting this morning with the PTO board and the school administrators.

I know that the most important thing about these meetings is to look put together, so I bought myself a darling suit.

Business lady ready to take care of business.

Margie was looking surprisingly smug when I got there.  The principal asked if the charges were true and of course I said yes, that I am very good at delegating.  Then I asked if there was any problem with the quality or the timing of the work.  Apparently the only problem they had was with some of the fundraising stuff I had asked Margie to do, so I told her to drop it and I would ask that cute new family in the kindergarten to take care of it instead.  Problem solved.

I wasn’t even late for Cross Fit.

Dressing Merlin, Part 3 Million

I just got a phone call from the big kids’ school telling me that I had to hurry down for some kind of emergency.  In fact, it was such a huge emergency that, when they couldn’t get me by phone they called my gym and had one of the trainers come find me in barre class.  I thought that someone was possibly trying a hostile takeover of the PTO or something.  It was just Merlin again, and this time it wasn’t an award.  He was in the office pitching a big fit about his clothes.  I am sorry that I have been too busy being a supper mom to get the laundry done.  Most lil’ boys would love to wear something that their Daddy wore as a child.

He looks cute as a button. I have no idea why he made such a big deal about it!

The school secretary said that even the kindergarteners were teasing him.  Well, they need to teach those children a lesson on not bullying!  They certainly were all over that when Starling might have said something the tiniest bit unkind about Fat Alice.  They said no more leiderhosen.  We’ll see.  I don’t like being bossed around.

School Work

Sometimes I feel like now that I have all of this power I can wield at school, I no longer want it.  It is a lot of work being the vice president of the PTO, and, although I am an expert delegator, I still have to attend boring meetings and find people to delegate to.

I had a meeting with Merlin’s teacher Ty this morning.  He usually is so much fun to be with, but lately even he has been a little bit boring.  I still consider him a close friend, but I wish he would pick himself up a bit and maybe start dating someone really nice.  Starling’s teacher, Ms Cole has a darling roommate who she has lived with for years.  I think she would make a lovely girlfriend for Ty!

I know some of the moms think he is good looking, but I have never seen it. He is just my old buddy , Ty. I am glad I don’t make a fool of myself over him like Jennifer Walker does! Ooof! So embarrassing.

I wonder if there is a way to resign my position?  Maybe if Merlin had a athletic career ending injury  everyone would understand.

School Stuff

Cari and I have some great new ideas for school fundraisers.  In the next month we are going to have a thrift sale (gross), sell mums and asters and hopefully have a Morning Out at a local coffee shop.

We are also planning a triathlon for next spring, but we will wait until February to announce it.  In the meantime I will train, just in case.

Running, swimming, biking…I don’t really care about winning, I just like to exercise.

It would just be so amazing if I beat all of the other women at an athletic event, but of course i really don’t care either way.

Water Play

One of the things that Hummus likes best about his new school is the river that runs behind the playground.  He always asks to play in it, but of course  I never thought they would let him.  This afternoon when I arrived a couple of minutes early for pick-up, they had all of the children who don’t belong to their church playing in the water.  I wasn’t concerned because there were a lot of adults down there watching and supervising (and for some reason, praying)  Hummus was wearing some clothes that belong to the school (he must have run through all of the changes of clothing I left with him…this potty training is hard!) and was watching while the teachers appeared to be teaching the “worldly” children to swim. The children of the church members were up on the playground, also praying.

I am not sure about who is who at this particular church, because I have heard that the Reverend Wattle is married to Hummus’s teacher, but then I have heard his name mentioned as the husband of several women.  Maybe Miss Sherrilynn is just his daughter.  Anywho, he was down there and taking each child and shouting “I cast you out, Satan!  Satan, I cast you out!” and dunking the child in the water to learn to swim.  I was delighted, because Hummus won’t ever let his face get wet, even in the tub, but Reverend Wattle just dunked him right under.

My lil’ fundie!  He looked considerably less delighted after his swim lesson.

I wonder why they decided to teach them to swim on such a chilly day?  I would have asked, but I had to get Hummus over to the babysitter before book club.